The Business of Friendship - Birthday Edition!

Photo by: Craig Adderley from Pexels

This has taken me quite a while to write because of moments where I feel like I’m not being the best friend I could be and then feeling like, “Okay I think I’m doing a good job.” Over the past couple of months my friends have held me in ways I cannot express.

Let’s start here, I don’t have many friends. Off the top of my head there are only about 13 people that constitute my inner circle - My tribe of friends that are now basically family. People who I can’t picture a future without. People who will have special seats at my baby showers, be behind the scenes at my graduations, be the loudest voices at my business launches and hold the dearest parts of my heart.

Friendship has taught me to be intentional. Friendship was my first representation (other than family) of love being an actionable word. I mentioned this in a separate post but I’ll detail it further for the purpose of this post. For the past 5 years I have been surprised on my birthday by my loved ones. Every single birthday since I was 18 has consisted of multiple surprises for my big day. If that’s not love represented as an actionable word I don’t know what is.

I used to dread my birthdays. But my friends made it a point from every corner of the world to ensure that they changed that. To say I am eternally grateful for this robust support system would be an understatement.

Which brings me to the reason I termed this “The Business of Friendship.” I’ve found, been taught and learnt that to be an intentional friend requires finances and time. Now before you disagree, intention doesn’t merely consist of gifts, but it does consist primarily of experiences. Experiences of which you need to contribute to. I find that we value material things sometimes because of the monetary value they hold. Subsequently, we value our friendships because of the emotional value they hold. However this value cannot co exist without the initiation of a form of investment.

If you aren’t willing to invest in your friendships - Re evaluate your stance as a friend. This doesn’t require you to break the bank, or go beyond your means. But tokens of appreciation in time allocated for your friends, an experience shared or a gift bought go a long way in affirming the bond your support stands on.

Capricorn - Aquarius season was expensive. But In the absolute best way possible. I watched my friends flourish and laugh and be truly happy on their birthdays. I saw them experience pockets of peace in moments we will forever treasure. From hangover breakfasts, to spilled cocktails, stunning pictures, academic assignments, bonding talks and more - My heart was full.

For my 22nd birthday, my people went above and beyond. I won’t divulge every detail but the sentiment that was embedded in every experience blew my mind. From the weekend before my birthday to the weekend of it and the weekend after it, it felt like I was celebrating for 3 weeks with every detail being catered to by my incredible support system.

22 really came in with a bang and my friends set the tone for the greatness that was to follow.

To say you are my friends is to say that you are my family. The wisdom you have imparted is immeasurable. The support you have cheered is insurmountable. The correction you have advised was necessary and the love you have given has been life changing. I pray to continuously be given the means to celebrate you all.

I cherish y'all now and I’ll cherish y'all forever.

Sincerely,

Sometimes She Writes.